Guests of the Inner Sanctum

By Dr. Phoenyx Austin: It’s Easier to Find a Good Black Man Over a Good White One. Really?!?

I’m taking a break from my usually schedule hair posts to write a bit about love and culture. Yeah, I like to touch on the relationship stuff too!

So yesterday, I came across an interesting article in my Facebook Newsfeed about Robin Thicke. Actually, I just came across his picture and immediately clicked on it to get a closer look at him in all his glorious sexiness. Gosh I love me some Robin Thicke… even back in his long hair hippie days.

Now in this Essence magazine article Robin gushed about his wife of 18 years, Paula Payton and how he loves giving her multiple orgasms (I hate her, lol). He also took the time to make some interesting comments about Black women, relationships, and finding a “good Black man.”

According to him, it may be easier to find a good Black man than a good White one. Interesting….

Here’s exactly what he said when asked this question by the interviewer at Essence.

ESSENCE: The media often tells Black women that they’re better off dating White guys. What’s your response to that?

THICKE: I think that’s ridiculous. There are so many good Black men out there that are hardworking, decent, and handsome, you know? To start that rumor is as bad as starting any other negative rumor. There are great Black men out there. There are only a few good White men — trust me. (Laughs) Good luck finding a good White man who understands your journey. I only have three White friends. I’ve got 20 Black male friends, who are all good men who take good care of their wives, and good care of their children. I know amazing Black men. Maybe the women have to take better care of their men. Maybe you’re being too stubborn. Maybe you’re not saying you’re sorry. You have to take good care of him, too. You have to give love to get love.
After reading this, I had a good laugh. I must say that find it hilarious how people in every race seem to down-play their race’s potential as romantic partners. You got black men dissing black women, black women dissing black men, and white folks crossing over to other races because they think their race is “out of touch” or because they need more melanin in their life.


I don’t know if I completely agree with Robin on the whether it’s easier to find a good Black man over a good White man. Personally, I think it boils down to finding a good man- and that in itself is difficult to find. Trust me. LOL! Don’t get me wrong, I don’t doubt that there are good men out there, but at the end of the day, I think a lot of the issues that women have to deal with (i.e. lying, cheating, and general disrespect) are universal to all types of men, regardless of race. And it really doesn’t matter if a dude is Black, White, Asian, or whatever. If a man lacks integrity and a moral compass, then he’ll always be headache. Furthermore, it doesn’t matter how much “love” a woman gives a man. There are women who give their men everything and still get nothing in return.


True love is hard to find and I think Robin Thicke and his wife have found it. But I disagree with Robin’s assessment that “You have to give love to get love.” In the end, I think that in order to get love, you need to love yourself first. If a man doesn’t respect you and love you, then you have to be strong enough to let him go and find a man that does. And that has nothing to do with race- and everything to do with self-respect.


What do you think about what Robin Thicke has to say about finding a good Black man? Do you think it’s easier to find a good Black man or a good White man?


If you’d like to send a comment/question to Dr. Phoenyx Austin, you can find her on Facebook and Twitter. Dr. Phoenyx Austin is a physician, writer, media personality, natural hair & lifestyle blogger.


Follow Christelyn on Instagram and Twitter, and subscribe to our YouTube channel. And if you want to be a little more about this online dating thing, InterracialDatingCentral is the official dating site for this blog.