Question of the Week

Older Latin Man Wants Younger Black Woman…Should He Go For It?

Here’s the question. Meet me in the comments section for your take.

Older rainbeaus


I think this is not just one single question, I think I am looking more for the advise that I cannot get from anyone else at this point as I am not ready to talk about this with any one else.
I am a Latin widow man, age 50. I was married for 19 years and she was the love of my life. Its been six long years and now I find myself in need of a good woman, with whom I feel mutual attraction. I have dated Latin woman around my age but have not been able to feel that attraction.

I met this beautiful black young woman at work. She is 27 and she has been at the office for around 9 months. From the first day I saw her we were able to speak and joke in a very natural and relaxed way despite her young age. After all these months we have gotten closer and have been eating and going out on a daily basis. At work she always wants to be with me for lunch and in the afternoon she always ask me to wait for her to walk out to the parking garage. During the day, we same-time on an hourly basis. A couple of times she has text me when I left the office, without her, telling me “you left me!!!” along with a sad or angry emoticon. In one occasion she wanted to buy a tv stand for here apartment (she lives on her own) so she asked me if I would help her choose one, I took her to buy it and she asked me to help her put it together that same night. I was not expecting to get invited to her place that soon. She seems to trust me a great deal. I was offered wine and I left when we re-arranged her furniture. A couple of weeks later she needed to be at some place on a Saturday morning and told me that if she could buy a sofa she was looking for, that I could sleep over in the sofa and the next day we would grab breakfast and drive to her appointment. I noticed she went out of her way to buy the sofa, and this I do not know, if it was because she needed me to go with her to her appointment or because she wanted me with her. The case is that she engaged her friends to buy and get her sofa late that Friday night. Then a month later she asked me to do another “sleep over” and go with her to another place she needed to be. I got to her place and after a couple of wines and a story of how her grand mother’s ghost visits her, she did not objected me sleeping in her bed. Nothing happen other than me having my hand on her naked back all night long. I did not want to make any sexual advances as I do not want to damage the friendship. I still do not want to hint or talk about us as becoming something else. I like her and this is where I am a bit confused, I do not know what she is feeling or what she wants this to become. When we go out for dinner she talks about her previous relationships as being always with older men, and not wanting to be in a relationship with a black man as she feels white men treat women with more respect and dignity. One day as we were talking about this subject she told me that she finds me very well educated, classy and that she feels chivalrous would be the word that would describe me best. On the other hand when I have tried to suggest to her to find a boyfriend and have pointed to some 40 something man, she has said that one of her rules is not to date a guy who is older that her father who I believe is 48.

Christelyn, I am confused with her friendliness towards me and I do not know if she is trying to make a good buddy out of me, for when she needs something or she wants to be with me but does not know how to face the issue of my age. Her behavior and body language also confuses the heck out of me. When we are around people we can joke around I have noticed how she sides with me and jokes and gets really close to me as if she indirectly wants to suggest to them there is something within us.

I would appreciate your advise or your point of view on this, as I want to reach a decision of approaching this in a more direct way or to start distancing myself as I do not want to do something stupid which I may regret later, but as I said, and I am honest about this, I would not like to miss the opportunity of having a nice experience with her as I have not found anyone like her in the way she seems interested and treats me. Besides I am single and I live a very comfortable life and I would not be cheating on anyone or trying use anyone.

Hoping to hear from you.


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