Written by Nicole
2020 has been the year of cancellation. The year itself has been cancelled, and it took everything, from a political darling’s career, to an extremely talented and cherished modern legend, to the entire travel industry, along with it. Cancel culture itself is probably next on the chopping block, as there have been thought pieces and essays about what happens as everything has been deemed cancellable. But as black women, we would benefit from some cancellations in our daily lives as well. And since today is September 1st, consider this a post to start the final third of 2020 on a positive note. Not because this year has been a hot garbage dumpster fire means we should just give up, right?
It may feel good in the moment, but there is not a single benefit to arguing with paste-eaters in the comment section on the latest post meant to trigger and gaslight you. Instead of responding, do not feed the trolls. They don’t care, and they won’t change their mind. Quit expending labor, emotional or otherwise, for men and women determined to be loud and wrong.
Not because something is “on sale” means that you should buy it. Financial uncertainty still looms in the wake of this pandemic, so skip that Amazon Prime purchase, no matter how cool it looks. Instead, start saving aggressively (and don’t tell anyone your plans, either) to start, or bolster a little nest egg for yourself. In my very unprofessional opinion, we have not yet seen the worst of this pandemic just yet, and having cash on hand will be far more valuable than whatever it is you just added to your cart.
Now more than ever, black women need to move in stealth. Successes and failures alike should be kept quiet, as people will jealously try to sabotage your wins and celebrate your losses. Keep things off social media, and be vague with your plans to your wider circle. Have a boyfriend? Surprise everyone when a wedding invitation appears at their mailbox. With child? Take your gender reveal to the extreme and let anyone who isn’t in your inner circle find out when you turn down plans because you are on maternity leave. New dream job? Keep that little secret between you, your employer and the IRS. Everything ain’t for everybody.
Call me petty, but this constant adulation of calling each other kings and queens seems so trite and ridiculous to me. Kings and queens have land, hoard resources, and carry themselves in a way that distinguishes them from the rest of the world. Kings and queens (and their court) make the rules. A Toyota Corolla and an unfinished basement apartment does not a king or queen make. We may have been kings and queens in millennia past, but our current state as a collective isn’t very royal. We look delusional.
It seems that with every major event of police brutality against a black male this year, it only took another week or so for more details of his checkered past to come to light. Instead of dropping everything you had planned to don your cape and tear up your local neighborhood, hang back and look out for more details. After all, when harm befalls black women, the black male collective doesn’t return the favor of marching for us. They just get online and ask what she must have done to get that treatment (like Megan Thee Stallion) and laugh at our pain.
Contrary to what many a struggle-love peddler like to trot out on their social media pages, the woman is, and forever will be the prize. Bending over backwards to entertain some struggle hypothetical put forward by dusty dudes will only lower the bar to even further depths. Give that “at least I got a man“, belief, especially when that man is a crusty, musty, busted mess, a miss.
Obviously, in the grand scheme of things, black women have a lot of bigger things to worry about than most of the entries on this list. Corona isn’t over, the eviction apocalypse is upon us, and what might possibly be the most monumental election in recent history will be taking place very soon. But, Rome wasn’t built in a day, as the saying goes. Each small action that black women take in the name of self-improvement will ripple throughout the cosmos. What do you think black women should cancel for the rest of 2020, and beyond? Drop your suggestions in the comments below!
Disclaimer: This blog was written by me, Nicole, and my ideas are not necessarily reflective of Christelyn Karazin or other writers on this platform.