Swirling Singles

Swirling After Forty: One Woman’s Success Story

By friendswmimi

I just wanted to write this article to encourage other 40 and over readers that it’s not too late to meet someone, fall in love and begin a relationship with a rainbeau.

I am 46 years old.  I am a single mother to a wonderful 17 year old daughter.  My daughter’s father is a rainbeau, so my introduction to interracial dating was not new.

He and I tried to make the relationship work, but we couldn’t.  Over the years, I had profiles on many dating websites.  Match.com, EHarmony, Plenty of Fish, OkCupid, and many interracial dating sites.  I dated my share of African American men and Caucasian men.  All I ever wanted was to experience what it would be like to be in a typical relationship with someone I cared about and who cared about me.  There were some close calls, but nothing where I could see myself saying I love this man and I want to spend the rest of my life with this person.  I would get my hopes up when I thought I met Mr. Right, only for it to crash and burn in the end.

Fast forward to March 7, 2012.  At that time, I had my profile on just two sites:  Match.com and OKCupid.  I had had some success on OKCupid, but nothing to write home about.  Through my e-mail, I saw where I received a response from TDon.  I moseyed over to the site to read the response.  To help you understand why I was so excited about his response, I have to explain to you what I wrote in my profile.  At the end of my profile, I wrote: Please only respond to my profile, if you are absolutely, positively interested in getting to know me, otherwise you are free to look at my lovely picture.  I wrote that because I got so tired of guys just sending a three worded message or a wink.  This was TDon’s response: Yes, you do have a lovely picture.  I love music, too.  Who are some of your favorite artists?  His response and his profile intrigued me and piqued my curiosity.  I looked at his profile.  He was cute!!!!  He was 49 years old.  He had been in the Air Force and was now retired.  He loved music as much as I did.  I was really intrigued by the fact that he liked Tyler Perry movies, even though he was white and that he liked R&B music and country music.  I liked what he had to say.  I wrote him back.

Of course, I am a Patti Stanger fan and a Rules girl, so I actually waited a whole day before I
e-mailed him back.  He wrote me back and told me about his two bi-racial daughters.  I thought, “Oh my goodness, he really does like black women, I wouldn’t be a jungle fantasy to him.  We e-mailed back and forth for a month, until we met for the first time in April.  He met me where I lived and we went out to eat.  That first date is one that I can’t really describe other than to say that I knew that he was the one.  I think it was the combination of our common interests and backgrounds and chemistry.  I didn’t want him to go home.

Our next date, we went to Talledega, Alabama to see a NASCAR race.  Now mind you, I have never been to a NASCAR race or to Talledega, but I would have gone anywhere to see TDon again.  I had the best time and Don did a great job of explaining the race to me.  He picked me up from my hometown to take me there and drove me all the way home.  Without wanting anything sexual from me.  It was such a relief to me.

After that date, there were many more dates, along with wonderful love letters and poems.  I always loved when Don would send me a video that reflected our relationship or how he felt.  I always knew exactly how he felt about me.  He is the sweetest, kindest man I have ever met.  He is a gentleman and always treated me like a lady.  I love him dearly and I can’t think of what life would be like without him.  It will be a year since we started dating and I’m just as smitten now as I was when we first met.

So, to the single women over 40 who are reading this:  Don’t give up.  If you just believe that you will find someone in your life, you will.  I truly believe in the power of positive thinking and positive energy.  It will happen for you.  And when it does, don’t run and hide from it.  Meet it head on.   So many times, we get stuck in our ways and we don’t want to allow someone wonderful in our lives, because we are afraid of what our family, friends and co-workers will say.  We always think that we can take care of ourselves.  But your life will be so much richer with someone to share it with.  Material things are nice, but they don’t encourage you, motivate you , love you and hug and kiss you back.  Put it out in the universe that you want love and it will come to you.  I wrote in my journal in 2011 of wanting a wonderful relationship with someone.  A year later, it happened.  I hope that everyone will get the opportunity to love like I do.

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