Written by Nicole
Happy New Year! Congratulations on surviving what was probably the weirdest year of your life! Maybe you crushed your goals, maybe you traded in your day planner for Netflix and Ben and Jerry’s. Regardless, you made it to this side, and that’s no small feat. Well done!
Now that the year that has been 2020 is firmly behind us, allow me to put forward a short list of things that black women can and should leave behind in 2021!
Other than tear up a few neighborhoods, cause a few eyes to get shot out, and give people something to do while the virus raged on, what has marching accomplished? I haven’t been staying on top of it, but have there been any tangibles at all? Have all the injustices been dealt with? Is everything fair now? Are black women no longer being killed at the highest rates out of all races of women? Bueller?
If you are passionate about activism, go about it in a way that does not risk leaving this earth with less organs than you entered with. Marching isn’t the way.
Besides, the same demographic of men (because let’s be honest, all this pavement pounding is for the men) that you are marching for will praise you as their queen on the front lines today. Tomorrow you are an aggressive, loudmouth angry black woman, lacking femininity, who won’t let a man lead. So do as they ask and be as feminine as your heart pleases, as you do your nails amidst a face mask and a deep-condition and let the men do the manly marching thing. Besides, vaccine or not, the ‘rona isn’t gone anywhere just yet. Stay home.
One big thing black women need to leave behind indefinitely is announcing to the world her preferences, particularly as it pertains to relationships with men. Look, I get it. Everybody else on this planet, male or female, can announce what they want in a partner without (much) controversy. In fact, some can even announce their preferences at the expense of black women. It’s not fair, I know. However, I do not operate in an arena of fairness, but an arena of what is. Since black women are viewed as bottom of the barrel and only deserving of scraps, the world will react by doing anything and everything to “keep us in our place”. So instead of announcing your desire for a 6-figure earner with his life in order, no kids, and all his original teeth, don’t make mention of it and quietly reject those who don’t meet the criteria.
Your preferences cannot be mocked, denied, or otherwise criticized if you just keep them to yourself. Not accepting a struggle “date” consisting of a soggy McDonald’s burger and Netflix? Of course not, but no need to announce. You want your engagement ring to be no less than three carats and you certainly will not be making a monetary contribution to its purchase? I agree, girl! However, you can keep that detail between you and your betrothed. Idiots in comment sections do not have your best interests at heart, and hate to see a black woman flourishing. And speaking of…
Let’s all just leave arguing with morons committed to being obtuse in 2020. I know it is downright annoying to see these people spewing their nonsense. But just let them type into the void because you have better things to do. Those better things could be staring at the ceiling, organizing your socks by color and texture, or literally anything else. The time has long passed to engage in fruitless back-and-forths with black men AND black women determined to be loud and wrong.
2020 was strange, but it’s over now. Protect your peace in 2021 and beyond by leaving these behaviors in the past! What will you be leaving in 2020? Let’s hear it in the comments below!
Disclaimer: This blog was written by me, Nicole, and my ideas are not necessarily reflective of Christelyn Karazin or other writers on this platform.